There was a period of time in our life where we openly shared
all the ins and outs of our family’s life.
All the fun stuff like the 7 weeks we spent biking over 1,000 miles
through British Columbia and the San Juan Islands, or the backpacking trip with 4 year old Jill
or the crazy trip when we drove hours out of our way from Colorado to go to
Chaco Canyon in New Mexico (The namesake of our Chaco). Then there was all the “not fun” stuff like
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| Our Chaco |
Alli’s struggles with reading and her vision therapy that followed, Jill’s onset of
MASSIVE anxiety that caused our family to nearly fall apart. I have posted a few times in the past years - Once in 2016 and 3 times in 2017 and honestly, I miss writing! I miss sharing what is going on with us. It is like my digital journal. So...I am gonna make an effort to post more than 3 times a year. I hope you will join us if you want to come along for the ride!
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| Chaco - he gets cozy even in the worst conditions |
If the last 3 years have taught us anything, it is that life is a roller coaster. It has been so interesting to be able to look back on our blog to read about all these ups and downs. In the
past 3 years I have gone back and forth on keeping up on the blog. I cared and
then I don’t care….round and round.
But
I always come back to the fact that LESSON 1: I LOVE TO WRITE!! I love to share the lessons we learn on these
trips and there is always someone out there who benefits from what I share. I feel it is important to share a “real”
life, the good and the bad, the amazing and the painfully hard. I figure that if I share it on our blog then
people who care can read about what is going on with us and people who could
care less – can pass right on by…
So, with all of that being said, I want to write about our
summer. Read on or just scroll through
the pictures….I love to write so I write for myself. If my stories interests you, then thanks for reading!
As is true with everything in my life, the lessons start
right away!! Our first trip was 1 week
to Santa Barbara with my parents and my sister’s family. A tradition we have been doing
for 5 – 6 years, a trip to southern California beaches.
Lesson 2: Don’t take family for granted. There is something
to be said for traditions shared with family and I think I have been taking
that for granted during the last 2 years I have been trying to balance
homeschooling my kids while working full time and being a wife, friend,
daughter, sister, and thinking it is my job to make everyone happy. Forget about trying to find a few moments of
time for myself in there somewhere. The
blinders I had put on regarding how out of balance my priorities had become would
start to come off during this first beach trip with my parents and my sister’s family.
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| Kern River outside Kernville |
I could feel it in the back of my mind, but I
continually chose to block those messages out in favor of keeping up with the responsibilities
I THOUGHT were so important. Those priorities that were so out of balance, they
were nagging at me, but I just keep pushing them away. And I was balancing so many plates that it
was pretty easy to ignore obnoxious thoughts of figuring out a better balance
in my life.
It would become UNDENIABLE
in July, and I would feel like I was drowning in a sea of all my past mistakes,
but the lessons I would learn would be VITAL to changing my priorities. I knew there was a reason I read FIERCE
CONVERSATIONS TWICE in June and July.
Back to the traditional Beach getaway. I have a few pictures from this trip. One is the classic kids enjoying “hotel TV”. They don’t realize that people have this same
TV in their houses since we have never had a TV. They fed the giraffes at the SB Zoo.
Lesson 3: Gratitude for having 2 incomes. In
the past I NEVER would have paid $6/each for the kids to feed 3 pieces of romaine lettuce to the giraffes,
but we have a bit more discretionary income so I can justify the “extravagance”
of this in exchange for the joy on their faces.
The rest of the trip was all about food and beach time! Santa Barbara is a great place to go for
these two things. I didn’t think it was
possible to get sick of ice cream, but after McConnell’s the first night and
then Pink Berry the next afternoon and McConnell’s AGAIN that night…I could not
stomach any more ice cream! However, New
Earth carries their double peanut butter…it is worth the $8 a pint, although I
really wish they would carry the espresso chip, it was AMAZING!!
Shane and I were still working (Inspire Charter School – YAY!!!!)
so it was nice to be somewhere that we had signal and could still do our work
even while sitting on the sandy shores of the Pacific or by the hotel pool or
at the Santa Barbara Zoo! The perks of
having a job that can be done from a Smart Phone.
The next 2 weeks were in the Eastern Sierras. There are so
many wonderful places to go in the Sierras that we can go there every summer
for weeks and weeks on end and never run out of places to explore. This year we spent a week in Onion Valley and
a week in Palisades Glacier. Onion
Valley was a GREAT place to set up camp for a week because there was cell
signal and the truck could still get Wi-Fi, this allowed us to be in the
mountains, but keep up with work requirements.
Lesson 4: Getting away from EVERYTHING in your life will ALWAYS
bring clarity to those questions that are nagging at you!!
Palisades Glacier was in July and so we were
both on vacation!! Out into the woods we
went and without cell or Wi-Fi (our truck has Wi-Fi through AT&T), or any
other responsibilities it was the first we were able to really just check out
and enjoy each other and the kids and being away.
My eyes started to open wider to the fact
that I had WAY too many responsibilities and I had some fierce conversations
with myself and Shane. I promised that I
would figure out some ways to balance these aspects of my life that felt
out of whack. Working at night and on
the weekends, having a lot of time commitments outside of family time, always
answering texts and phone calls, etc…. all these habits had to go…. But, where to start?? That is the hardest part, actually
making REAL, MEANINGFUL and LASTING changes.
Lesson 5: Life is what happens when you’re busy making other
plans….Mid-July brought us back to Chico, which is NEVER good! We miss the
coolness of the Sierras (30- 40’s at night), the elevation of the mountains, the joys of being away from everything that
feels like a WANT TO and back into the world of heat, heat HEAT and HAVE TO’s. We were home to participate in some classes
and
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| My office in Onion Valley |
workshops, but as life would have it, LIFE HAPPENED and we ended up taking
a 180 degree turn. Sometimes life throws you those curve balls and you feel
like you are under a wave with no clue as to which direction is up. This was one of those times for me, and while
it took me a little bit….I found the lessons and used it to improve my life.
This is where I feel that I shine. Instead of staying in a place of feeling beat
down, hurt and disappointed in what was going on, I found the lessons in the
situation – and the lessons were overflowing with gifts that I had been blind
to just one month prior. There was no
denying that now my eyes were WIDE OPEN to the changes I needed to make.
It wasn’t going to be easy, to change some
DEEP, DEEP characteristics about myself, but I was willing to look at myself
and make some changes that needed to be made.
I work A LOT when I find something that means a lot to me!!! I have always been this way. When I do
something I do it at 200%. There is no 150% or 110% for me. It is 200%, and I put my heart and soul into
whatever it is I am doing, and I LOVE IT!
Yes, this is a downfall of mine. It benefits whoever I am doing things
for, but it doesn’t benefit me or the most important people in my life.
This was the #1 reason that I resigned from teaching when I
was pregnant with Alli. I knew that I could
not be a good teacher and a good mom. I
would EXCEL at one of them and SUCK at the other, so I gave up teaching to
become a mom. For 12 years I put 200% of
myself into being a mom and wife, and never regretted that decision. My kids and Shane were the center of my
universe and that was perfect!!
Then the opportunity of a lifetime presented itself. I could work for a homeschool charter, get
paid to share my 6 years of
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| Shane and Jill Backpacking in July |
homeschooling knowledge with other homeschooling
families and continue to homeschool our children. I was told there would be 10 students, maybe
15! That seemed totally doable for
me. Alli and Jill were 11 and 8 and I
felt like I could balance these tasks better than I could have when the kids were younger, or when Jill was deep in her anxiety/sleep chaos - HELL. Jill was still struggling with being away from me so this
would allow me to work at her “enrichment classes,” so she could still
participate in the classes she loved without causing major anxiety about her
having to be away from me. It was a WIN-WIN
for all of us.
My 10 – 15 students grew to 20, then 25, then 40, then 45….and
I LOVED IT!! I loved my job. I loved the
freedom I had and we had NEVER had 2 incomes so not having to count every penny
was SO AMAZING!!
I LOVED meeting with my families and helping
them navigate the
sometimes choppy waters of homeschooling.
It felt like all those years of stress and crying and hard work I had
put in to homeschooling our kids was actually serving a purpose. I UNDERSTOOD what these families were going
through and I could really help them! And
slowly, slowly….I was losing myself in my job.
There was no boundary between the two and so I just became my job. But I loved it, so that was ok!
This is probably true
for a lot of people who have a mostly virtual job. You can’t go HOME, and check out of
work because
all of your work can be done on your Smart Phone which is always within arm’s
reach.
Where it used to be my children
that were the only thing within arm’s reach at all times, now it was my laptop
and my phone. I was never “off”
work. But I LOVED my job so much that I
made excuses for this. I also had spent
so many years being “just mom” that I am sure that some of this dedication to
my job was because I finally felt important in a tangible way…not in a mom way
(you know, in 10 years they will really appreciate me!)
Lesson 6: Lessons will continue to teach you when you are willing
to continually learn. The eye opening events that occurred
for me in July had
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Bear Lake in Utah - This place advertised "Most Famous Shakes"
We went next door to the place that advertised "Least Famous Shakes" |
ripple effects that continued to teach me lessons during the
trip we took in August. This was not a planned
trip, but it was one of the gifts that rose up from the lessons of July.
It was so incredibly hot, then the Carr Fire
in Redding along with numerous other fires, we just couldn’t take it (the heat,
the smoke…) anymore. We headed to
Wyoming.
We had already started back at work, so this was going to be a
test of balancing work and travel.
Having WiFi in the truck really helps as this allows for me to work
while Shane drives. Then, we find the GREATEST libraries to work in (shout out
to Pinedale, Jackson Hole and Lander whose libraries were AMAZING! I wish Chico
would put some money into our library!) The kids can spend HOURS in libraries so we
found that working on the road was super easy!
This also tested a new boundary for me….no more working in the
evenings! I set this rule for myself
when we were back in Chico. I could
answer emails for an hour in the evening OR I could sit on our porch swing with
Shane and chat. Those of you who
remember the evenings when Jill just SCREAMED for hours every night (refer to
2015 – the year of HELL for our family!) will appreciate the fact that I am
going to choose Shane over emails!!
Let me tell you, I felt like a NEW PERSON! I had found a way to turn off my working
brain and just be ME! It was so
wonderful. Those emails that come in at
night are still gonna be there in the morning and I will answer them then. What a GIFT it was for me to learn this.
Lesson 7 – Repeat Lesson 4: You really, really must GET AWAY
from everything to clear out all the static in your head and find out what you
really want - YOU, not other people!
Then we had our first weekend out in the Wind River Range. SO BEAUTIFUL, and so out in the middle of
nowhere that there was not cell service and the truck would not get WiFi. We were completely unreachable and this is
where the MAGIC happened. Friday Evening
to Monday Morning I was not there to answer emails, texts, facebook messages,
etc….and guess what??? The world did not
fall to pieces. This was EARTH
SHATTERING FOR ME!!!
(Yes, I had 30
emails to answer, 15 FB messages, 20 FB notifications (from the Inspire group I
monitor), 2 missed phone calls and 10 texts, but guess what….2 hours driving out
to Lander and they were answered! A new
world just opened up to me that is for sure!
SIDE NOTE- My phone is now on SILENT at all times. I cannot handle the constant dinging
anymore. )
We had an amazing weekend.
CRAZY thunderstorms each day, Shane was hiking with Chaco for the
largest one. The same hike he spooked a Mama
Moose and then the Moose trailed him just to be sure him and Chaco got VERY far
away from baby! At the same time, Jill
and I had hiked along the south shore and found the sweetest little
badger! (You know badger are NOT nice,
right?) This one really liked us and
just kept digging and walking around as we gave it enough space to feel
safe.
Later, when we had cell signal I looked up the spiritual meaning
of these two animals that we ran into separately, but at the same time. It made us smile and is right on, as the messages
from nature are.
Lesson 8 and 9 from the animals:
Moose - Know and
understand that you – and only you have the authority to make your own choices in life.
BADGER
- You must have faith in yourself and your abilities, walk your path at your own pace.
From Green Rivers Lake we headed to Lander, Wyoming. This
place is serendipitous for us. Shane attended a conference there in May 2017 while he was still working for Oroville High. He had already quit his job. If you knew us back then, you remember that
we had VERY LITTLE support when Shane quit his job. Who gives up 13 years of tenured seniority in
public school??? The high pay, the health insurance…for NOTHING!! He just quit with no job in line, we were
going to make it work on my income.
People
thought we were insane! But we knew….that job was slowly killing him
and money does not buy happiness. We
would go without so that he could get out of that awful job. He spent his time in Lander planning on ways
to maybe teach a class on the side to make a little money – or IDEALLY get a
job with Inspire so we could work together.
Lesson 10: Quit a job that is killing you no matter WHAT people think!! So…here we were, one year later, back in Lander – Shane and I
both employed full time with Inspire. Shane quitting OHS was the BEST DECISION of our life! Look at him – he GLOWS!!!
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| Shane went overnight in Lassen. He hiked to the peak. |
Lesson 11 – Never stop dreaming and believing that you can
have everything that you want!!
We stayed for a few days with a family on my roster, so
awesome, right?? (Selby honey production!!!
Best honey ever!!) The kids got to hang out with friends from back in
Chico, we got to learn about
the ins and outs of honey making (FASCINATING!!)
and hang out with some super cool people!!
Thanks, Chiaramontes!
From Lander we went to Yellowstone and met up with Shane’s
parents. We had a great time with
them.
Bruce drove while we looked for
wildlife and walked the boardwalks of the Geyser Basins, and Mammoth
Springs. Believe me – I have NO DESIRE
to hike in Bear, Moose, Wolf and Bison territory, they can have it all to
themselves!
Campfires (a treat…we
never have fires camping), GREAT FOOD, quality
time with Grammy (you were so tolerable of the kids!!) . Thanks Johnstons, we really appreciate these
times that we get to spend together.
We left Yellowstone on a Friday – Labor Day Weekend! We were
able to go camping and be unreachable again….Palisades Creek in Idaho. Family hike, 8 miles…that was a bit long, but
it wasn’t an eastern sierra hike with crazy elevation gain so it was doable.
Lazy days by some rivers and world famous SQUARE ice cream.
We woke up today (Labor Day) and decided to drive home. Yes, 13 hours – (15 hours with stopping) although
we cross the time zone so at least we gain one hour back….but still that is a
long drive. We couldn’t stop in
Winnemucca with only 6 hours of driving left.
We excel at this last day push home so we can sleep in our own beds!
This summer really stretched my beliefs about many aspects of
my life, but this is one of the lessons that I hold close to my heart. No matter how long it took me to find a
healthier balance in my life, my family didn’t hold it against me. They just welcomed me back with open
arms. Thank you for the best lesson of
all.
Lesson 12: I have the best family EVER.
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| Palisades Creek, Idaho. Kids playing Water Sprite Fairies...Still at 13 and 10 they have the best imaginations. |
